May 2013
When you said you were a scumbag, you weren’t lying.
eye-candii:
shep689:
joshsux:
i hate when other peoples opinions are wrong
i hate other peoples opinions.
I hate other people.
cosmo tip #692
expertcosmotips:
tell him his dick should be on america’s next top model
bravesansa:
wowie i really want to kiss someone for like a couple hours or something that sure would be nice
niggayougay:
MAN I WISH I WAS HOT ENOUGH TO MAKE SOMEONE SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED
turtwink:
yabba dabba done with ur shit
connnorkenway:
fluffy—heretic:
shmegel:
yes but how old is the sport
starksexual:
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
2073:
money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a false sense of security and fruity alcoholic beverages to numb the pain and honestly what’s the difference
the-lonely-scottish-guy:
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
mycroft-holmes-approves:
sodamnrelatable:
Diet ideas: Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.
ambitiousbard:
just be grateful that bing didn’t buy tumblr
dysenterygay:
i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and look at me w/ so much shame
masturbatewithacheesegrater:
Do you ever get those moments where youre like OMG IM GONNA BE PRETTY IM GONNA BUY REALLY NICE MAKE UP AND DO MY HAIR NICE EVERYDAY AND WEAR CUTE CLOTHES STARTING TOMRROW IM GONNA DO IT and then the next morning u just roll out of bed and put on the same pair of jeans uve been wearing for 7 months
cnnbreaking:
when you are so desperate you go to the second page of google results
thesockmonkeyrenegade:
gracethelostgirl:
lovewithyous:
carolineflack:
HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY STOP TEXTING YOU
HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY START TEXTING YOU
HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY
thebluthcompany:
cinematicshit:
I love Arrested Development but I have no love for its crazy fans who quote everything even the lines that are not that funny and talk about it all the time and make all their Facebook cover photos into screenshots from the show.
circumcisions:
procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due
Its here! Geeking OUT is live! →
c0nur:
typicalbecca:
http://www.youtube.com/user/beccacanote http://www.youtube.com/user/geekingoutneil Neil and Becca take you through their favorite crackships in this ultimate…
CHECK IT OUT!! My secret project is FINALLY LIVE!!
On the 2nd and 4th Friday of every month, Neil and I will be bringing you shiny new vlogs about our lives as LGBT geeks!
Plus, I’ll be all up and on my...
vandalswithjetpacks:
The idea that people had sex before the 20th century really freaks me out. Like George Washington probably got a blow job and that makes me uncomfortable.
cybergay:
cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer
stuartsometimes:
I’m not a morning person
I’m not even an afternoon person
I pretty much start functioning at about 6pm
Anonymous asked: WOW, I just lost a bunch of weight using the OFFICIAL TUMBLR DIET!! Are u using it as well?
poopflow:
a sex position called the gatsby where you stare longingly at your partner from a distance and scream old sport when you climax
chanandlerb0ng:
what’s that thing called where your crush likes you back
oh yes your imagination
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: gets in the shower
me: i have ARRIVED IN PARADISE AND I SHALL NEVER LEAVE
COSMO SEX TIP #8329
arekelly:
Instead of moaning during climax say “Flash 9 required for audio”.
